


Kooks

by Weasleymama



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-04 16:18:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5340479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weasleymama/pseuds/Weasleymama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing was perfect, they had fights but they always came back and apologized for any harsh words in the end. But at 17 and 18 years old those arguments were easy to overcome. What came next wouldn’t be so easy.</p><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
  <div class="center">
    <p><br/>      <i></i><br/><span class="small">Will you stay in our lovers' story</span><br/><span class="small">If you stay you won't be sorry</span><br/><span class="small">'Cause we believe in you</span><br/><span class="small">Soon you'll grow so take a chance</span><br/><span class="small">With a couple of Kooks</span><br/><span class="small">Hung up on romancing</span><br/><br/><span class="small">Kooks, David Bowie</span><br/></p>
  </div>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Romance

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * Constructive criticism
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Reader-reader interaction
> 

> 
> This author replies to all comments!

> The sun shone down between white fluffy clouds above Maya and Lucas as they lay on their backs on the grass of the baseball field after practice. It was a beautiful day out and a Friday afternoon to boot. This kind of afternoon was the way Maya and Lucas dated, they just spent time together. They’d resolved their problems from months before and all awkwardness had faded long ago. Maya watched the sky, the changing colors as the sun began to set in the distance. Lucas had his eyes closed and just relaxed. He smelled like he’d been playing baseball, and his clothes were filthy, but Maya never minded any of that. She liked the real him, the him that wasn’t trying to impress anyone.
> 
> “Here it comes…” She muttered, rolling over and pulling out a wooden box from her backpack. A set of oil pastels and a pad of paper. She watched the sky, the pastel moving across the paper. Lucas opened his eyes now, shifting to his side so he could see the sky she had been waiting to sketch. “See where the clouds look dark on the bottom, but the rest of the sky is colorful?” She asked him with a wide smile as she glanced down to the paper again, trying to capture this beautiful moment in time.
> 
> “Yeah, it’s really beautiful.” He told her, watching how her hand moved so smoothly with the pastels. Her talent had only grown with time. He foresaw a future where she was hanging in galleries, where she was selling painting to begging millionaires who just had to have a ‘Maya Creation’ in their homes. He had nothing but faith in everything she was and could be. 
> 
> By the time the sun set completely her pastels had been pushed aside and the two were no longer laying casually in the grass. They were tangled up in one another, Lucas on his back, Maya laying on him as they kissed heavily. His hands roamed her small frame, from being tangled in her long blonde hair to creeping up under the hem of her shirt. Her hips rested against his as their legs hooked around one another’s. Her hands under his shirt against his stomach. 
> 
> Lucas’s hand slid further under her shirt. His fingers curling around her small breasts wasn’t what excited her. It was the buildup, the way his fingers crept up her stomach, the way he moved slow incase – even after he’d been there several times by now – she ever wanted him to stop. Lucas on the other hand grew excited just being allowed to touch her in places no one else could see. Riley may have been his first kiss, but Maya was his first for a lot more…including a real relationship.
> 
> When they pulled back to breathe and take a break from the heavy kissing, Maya shifted to lay beside. The baseball field had become their place over the last few months - it was a place away from everyone and the back fence was easy to jump if the gate was locked before they left. “When is the first time you wanted to kiss me?” Maya asked him, a smirk on her lips.
> 
> “Remember when we all had detention and painted our faces?”
> 
> “How could I forget?” She replied with a laugh. “I ruled the school that day.”
> 
> “And got extra detention.” He reminded her only to get a shove to his side. “That was the day, when grabbed my shirt and got in my face, I wanted so much to just lean down and kiss you. But it was all too confusing then to have actually done it. Plus I was sure if I did, not only would you punch me in the mouth, Riley would hate me too.”
> 
> Maya laughed at his admission as she propped up on her elbow to face him. “If you’d kissed me back then, yeah, I’d probably have been pissed.” She confessed, still surprised he’d wanted to kiss her that long ago.
> 
> “What about you?”
> 
> “I want to kiss me every day.” She told him with a mock air of arrogance. 
> 
> “C’mon.” He urged her to answer. “When did you first want to kiss me?” He asked, wondering if it was the school dance as he’d guessed.
> 
> “First time I wanted to really kiss you….” She drug it out just to make him wait and in turn he poked her side to tickle her. “When you almost got in a fight with Tony.” He looked over at her curiously. “When Zay first got here.” She continued, trying to help him remember.
> 
> “You wanted to kiss me when I was threatening someone?” He asked her, sitting up and looking down at her. It was hard to believe of all moments that was the one.
> 
> She nodded. “Mmhmm. I was standing there watching and…” She rolled onto her back again, looking up at him where he sat up. “You said something like you didn’t even have to try to be stronger than he was…and that if he swung at you…” She paused, remembering the day. “He’d be on the floor and you’d walk away.” She grinned and hummed at him. “It was the hottest I’d ever seen you.” She told him honestly.
> 
> “Angry is hot to you?” She rolled her eyes at his question and shook her head. 
> 
> “No, not angry...” She sat up then too, trying to think of a better way to explain it. “Well maybe angry, but for a good reason? I don’t know. You were tough and strong and had no fear. I always knew you were strong, you picked me up without even trying, but…” She shrugged. “It was just hot.” Maya paused, letting the compliment wash over him. “For a Huckleberry.” She teased, always ending the compliment with a slight knock and gave him a push. He fell backwards in the grass with a laugh pulling Maya along with him. The kissing beginning again with natural ease.
> 
> …..
> 
> Maya’s house was generally the place the two went to be alone, Katy worked so much she was rarely ever home. She worked two jobs, never quitting the job at the diner when Topanga brought her on at the bakery. She was sure if they could get some savings put back that she’d eventually be able to quit the diner. But it seemed like as soon as she had anything put back something came up and they were back at one again. With the apartment being empty most of the time, the two had privacy as they grew more intimate in their relationship. 
> 
> The first time Katy came home to find the two of them making out on the couch she was shocked to the point of gasping audibly. Lucas was laying on top of her daughter on the sofa as they kissed heavily. The two broke apart quickly as if electrified, each shooting to separate corners of the couch. “Hey mom, how was your day?” Maya said cheerily. Her face was flushed and her shirt was mussed, the fact that a hand had been in there was far too apparent. 
> 
> Katy took a deep breath and held up her hand. “Stay.” She muttered before moving into the kitchen. She took several gulps of cold water and took a few more deep breaths. Sure she had been expecting it, but seeing it already after only a few months felt like too soon to Katy. When she came back out she sat on the chair to the side of the couch. “Okay…” She took another breath. She looked to her daughter who looked slightly embarrassed, but not nearly as much as Lucas who hung his head low. “I think it’s time we set some rules.”
> 
> “What kind of rules?” Maya asked
> 
> “Rules like… your hands don’t need to be in someone else’s clothes.” And Lucas closed his eyes tight and his ears and neck were as red as his face. Maya bit her lip and looks down then, she had been sure her mother hadn’t seen that part. Katy, feeling like she’d made her point then continued. “So we’ll call that rule number one. Rule two, no boys in the bedroom if I’m not home and if I am, the door stays open.” Maya kept quiet and listened, though she was silently thinking of ways she could get around the rules without breaking them. “I don’t expect the two of you not to kiss and eventually other things happen. I was sixteen once too, I know how this goes. But I do expect you to be respectful…not only to me, but to each other. Just because I understand does not mean I want to walk in and see it.”
> 
> “Yes, Ma’am” Lucas muttered. “I’m sorry Mrs. Hart.”
> 
> It had been an embarrassing moment for all of them, though Katy tried to hide her own embarrassment as much as possible. Maya took one thing from the lesson; her mother didn’t say don’t do it, she said don’t let her walk in and see it. So from then on Maya was far more careful about them being ‘caught’. 
> 
> …..
> 
> Lucas looked up surprised when he heard the tap on his window and saw his girlfriend’s smiling face looking in at him. He glanced to his closed bedroom door once before opening the window. “Maya?” She leaned in, pressing a kiss to his lips before she slid inside. 
> 
> “Are they asleep?” She whispered. He crept to the door, cracking it open. The only sound in the entire apartment was the TV he had on. After a second he heard the loud snore of his father’s. If his mother could sleep through that, she could sleep through anything. He closed the door and nodded.
> 
> “Yeah, they’re out.” The look in her eyes as he said it made him want to do nothing but kiss her. His long legs only needed two strides across the room to reach her. His arm slid around her back as he tilted his head down and his lips eased against hers. He pulled back and looked down at her bright blue eyes. “Why?” He asked softly. “You could get in trouble.” He reminded her, it was far past her curfew of 9 on a school night. 
> 
> Maya just shrugged. “Was thinking about you and wanted to see you before I went to bed.” He grinned and ran his fingers through her hair his eyes were soft as he looked down at her. 
> 
> Four and a half months in, Lucas was the first to utter the words. “I love you.” He told her softly. Maya smiled, moving in and kissing him as she wrapped her arms around his neck to hold him closer. Slowly she moved just enough to see his eyes. “I love you too.” She whispered, moving back in again, it was only a couple of steps and they were laying in his bed, kissing heavily. 
> 
> …..
> 
> Of course, it wasn’t always about fooling around with Maya and Lucas. Maya knew she truly loved Lucas when she found herself wanting to tell him more and more about her life, about things no one knew. 
> 
> “I spent a long time wishing I could be Riley.” Maya told him as they laid in their place in the outfield after school. They had finished half of their homework there and Maya sat leaning against the fence while Lucas laid across the grass with his head in her lap looking up.
> 
> “Why?” He asked, reaching up and plucking a piece of grass from her hair.
> 
> “She has the perfect life.” Maya replied, looking away from him. “Mom, dad, brother. Uncles and aunts.” Lucas frowned a little as she talked. “She’s happy and loved and has everything I never had.” She shrugged. “I mean, I don’t wish for it as much as I used to. But…”
> 
> “But?” He asked as she stayed quiet for a bit.
> 
> “Sometimes I still think about it.” She shrugged, pushing away the bad feelings and smiling through it.
> 
> He kept his eyes on her though. “Maya?” He knew her well, especially now after years of friendship and five months dating. 
> 
> “I wish Cory was my dad.” She told him with a shrug, not letting it all sink in, refusing to. Lucas had only seen her cry a handful of times since they’d known one another and she didn’t want this to be one of them. “He doesn’t call anymore, hasn’t even sent me a birthday card in three years…and even then it had the wrong age on it.” Maya frowned a little. “He’s got a new family, doesn’t need us.” She took in a deep breath and Lucas sat up and wrapped his arms around her. 
> 
> “I’ll be your family.” He told her softly. 
> 
> “You want to be my brother now?” She asked with a laugh.
> 
> “No!” he said quickly, causing her to laugh louder. It was easier to laugh when things got too serious. “You know what I mean…I just, don’t want you to ever feel like you don’t have a family. You will always have me.” She kissed him then before just leaning on him for a while. 
> 
> “Will you come over tonight?” She asked him softly, looking up after a long but comfortable silence.
> 
> “Text me when she’s asleep.” He told her, tilting his head to the side he placed a kiss on her neck.
> 
> ……
> 
> Breaking rules wasn’t hard for Maya Hart, she’d always been the more rebellious one. Lucas had been the moral compass, but as it had been shown once in middle school, she could be a powerful influence on him. Lucas grew to feel such a strong need for Maya that they both broke curfew, snuck out and found ways to be together. The more their parents tried to enforce rules, keep them apart, the more they both rebelled and found ways to be together when THEY wanted to, not when their parents said it was okay. 
> 
> The first time Lucas came to Maya’s bedroom window was on Halloween as just her friend spooking her and Riley. Now he had taken to coming over after curfew and slipping in the bedroom window much like she did in his home in return. He tapped at her bedroom window and she pushed it open for him. It was a little harder for him to get his long body into the window than it ever was for her, but he still managed to do it quietly – or quieter than the sounds of the radio Maya had on so Katy couldn’t hear.
> 
> Maya smirked the first time she convinced him to come. “She said no boys in my room when she’s not home…she didn’t say anything about being awake.”
> 
> They rubbed against one another in the bed, hips pressed together experiencing feelings they were only learning about. Maya found herself closing her eyes and sighing contently whenever Lucas’s lips moved across her neck, much like the face he made when she gently scraped her nails over his bare stomach. “Mmm” Lucas muttered as her hand slid under his shirt, his lips parting at her neck. He kissed a few times before he spoke, teasing her. “Wasn’t rule number one no hands in other people’s clothes?”
> 
> “Hmm, you’re right.” Maya pulled her self away from him and grinned as she took hold of the bottom of his shirt and tugged it up. He didn’t even have a thought about stopping her as she pulled off his shirt and let it fall to the floor next to the bed. “There, hands not in clothes.” 
> 
> Lucas wasn’t even timid when he reached for hers, he’d had his hands under her shirt before it wasn’t completely uncharted territory. She raised her arms for him, tugging off the t-shirt and leaving her in a small bra. Maya wasn’t as filled out as some girls but Lucas never saw anything but perfection when he looked at her. Without her shirt, his lips trailed down over her collarbone and just slightly over the hint of cleavage as her nails raked over his torso. Her hand reached for his head, fingers through his hair and then she pulled a little and he moved up. His lips crushed against hers, kissing frantically as they both got more turned on than they had yet experienced.
> 
> Lucas’s hand moved down from her chest, over her stomach. When his fingertips moved under the waistband of her flannel pj pants Maya took in a breath, her stomach tensing. He broke away from the kiss. “Is this okay?” He asked, not wanting to do anything she didn’t want. It was the same way he’d asked the first time his hand moved under her shirt two months before. 
> 
> Maya licked her lips looking up at the guy she had come to trust so much and she nodded with a smiled. She kissed him again, both laying back on the bed. She was nervous, he was inching his hand past a line they’d yet to cross. But her nerves didn’t surpass her excitement, the feeling of being so wanted and loved that he always gave her. She kissed him deeply and his hand slid inside her pants. He’d touched over jeans, but never gone inside, never having felt a girl’s panties before this moment. His hand brushed over the soft and thin cotton material and she took in a sharp breath, feeling a spark surge through her at just the light touch.
> 
> He paused to look down at her again. “Is this--?” he began again.
> 
> “It’s good.” She told him nodding a bit before she moved back in to kiss him again. They both got lost in the heat of things then and the move from a touch outside the panties to slipping inside them happened almost accidently. They’d shifted, Maya’s body moving against his hand without her even trying to do it. She kissed him hard and clung to him, nails on his shoulders and the back of his head as he made her feel things she had never felt before. With the shift, his finger moved the material to the side and she had actually let out a slight moan against his mouth. Taking it as a good sign he pushed it aside a little more and went right for it. 
> 
> He had no idea what he was doing between her legs, but he explored her body with his fingers, feeling her out and letting the intensity of her kisses guide him. It seemed like the more she liked what he did the harder she kissed him. It would be more than a month before Maya would cross the barrier herself and even longer before either of them actually felt like they knew what they were doing because they’d actually done it right. 


	2. The Consequence

> Maya sat on the side of the bathtub, wringing her hands in her lap to keep them from shaking. She rocked back and forth a little as she counted slowly in her head to 180. Three minutes. That was how long it was supposed to take. 
> 
> 178\.   
>  179.  
>  180.
> 
> Maya took a deep breath and slowly stood. She took one step towards the sink with her eyes closed. Another deep breath and a silent wish _minus, minus, minus._ She opened her eyes. Plus. _Fuck._ Her eyes welled instantly even though she tried to hold it back, deep breaths and rapid blinking weren’t going to work this time. She wanted the earth to open up and swallow her right there in her bathroom. Maya slid down to the floor, her back against the tub and knees to her chest as she let the tears flow for once. 
> 
> Lucas waited on the other side of the door, staring at the handle just waiting for it to turn. He was praying, he was hoping to God that they hadn’t made a mistake. He was wishing for everything to be okay but when she never came out the worry hit. He took in a deep breath as he reached for the handle and pushed the door open. His eyes went to Maya crying on the floor before they took in the pink plus sign from the test on the counter. He felt dizzy for a minute, everything they had been scared of had just smacked them in the face. 
> 
> Lucas sunk down to the floor with her, and his hand immediately clasped hers. Neither of them spoke for a long time. Both just trying to take it all in how much their lives were going to change, Lucas stared in silence at the open door, and Maya cried so quietly that unless you looked at her you wouldn’t know how the tears flowed down her face. 
> 
> ……
> 
> Shawn and Katy sat on the couch, looking up as the teenagers stood, telling them what they had done. Maya barely got out the word ‘pregnant’ before they reacted. Katy slumped, head in her hands. “Oh god, Maya…” she muttered as tears started to well in her eyes. Shawn on the other hand acted much quicker. He was on his feet as soon as the word was muttered and he didn’t even hesitate.
> 
> “You son of a bitch!” Shawn yelled as his fist met Lucas’s jaw. The sucker punch caught Lucas off guard so much that he actually stumbled back and ended up sitting on the floor. 
> 
> “Shawn stop!” Maya screamed and rushed to Lucas’s side while Katy got to her feet and tried to pull Shawn back. 
> 
> “Maya, it’s okay.” Lucas said as he stood, wiping a bit of blood off his lip. “He’s got every right to want to hit me.” He moved, not letting Maya stand between them, the look in Shawn’s eye told Lucas he wasn’t done.
> 
> “No he doesn’t.” Maya tried to move around Lucas but he wasn’t letting her stand in front of him, he wasn’t going to let her protect him from something he felt he deserved. “Shawn, stop.” 
> 
> “Get the fuck out of my house!” Shawn shouted, so much anger in his eyes Maya had never seen him like this. He had such a peaceful demeanor normally, but this was rage.
> 
> “Lucas.” Katy began. “Go home.” 
> 
> “No!” Maya called out, keeping a hold on Lucas’s hand. She didn’t want to do this alone, she didn’t want to be on her own with no one on her side. 
> 
> “Maya…” Lucas said softly, turning to her. “She’s right, I need to go. But, I’ll call you tonight okay? I love you.” He moved to give her a kiss goodbye.
> 
> “Don’t fucking push it.” Shawn growled taking a step closer to Lucas who stopped before he kissed her. His lingered kiss hit the top of her head and he was out the door. Once outside he leaned against it, taking a deep breath and feeling his heart race in his chest. What had he done?
> 
> “Everyone needs to just calm down.” Katy told Shawn and Maya. “C’mon sit down.”
> 
> “You shouldn’t have hit him.” Maya grumbled as she sat down on the couch as far away from Shawn as she could. 
> 
> “Be glad I didn’t kill him.” Shawn replied in just as stubborn a voice. Katie let out a loud exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. As Maya began to object to Shawn’s overreaction he spoke over her. “Stop. Just stop, Maya.” He shook his head, trying hard not to yell at her. He blamed Lucas, that was clear, but he didn’t want to let that anger out on Maya just then. “Last year that boy came into this house and told your mother he wanted to be with you, said he would take care of you and then took you out of this house. He made a promise to your mother that night. You think getting you pregnant taking care of you?” But Maya had no words for him just then. “Because all I heard was some kid coming in here saying that not only did he not take care of my daughter but he’s just ruined my her life because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.” 
> 
> Katy sighed again, wiping the hint of a tear from her eyes and shaking her head a little. “Shawn…” There was a mix of emotion for Katy then, everything was hitting her from all directions, but she couldn’t help but notice that her husband of only 8 months had just claimed Maya as his daughter. She wanted to smile, wanted to hug them both but as her hand went to Shawn’s they both saw the pain on Maya’s face. 
> 
> “I’m sorry, Katy, but it’s true, no matter what she decides to do she’s going to have to live with this forever.” He looked to Maya. “You get that right? You’re not a kid anymore now.” Maya’s eyes had welled once more, tears falling before she even realized she was crying. 
> 
> “Why are you being like this?!” Maya cried out, her pain written all over her face. 
> 
> “What did you expect Maya?” Katy replied finally. “Did you think I’d be congratulating you for getting pregnant at seventeen?” Maya bit her lip then, truth was she didn’t really know what she’d expected, she’d been terrified to tell them but knew it would eat at her the longer she kept it from them. Katy sighed and moved to sit next to Maya, her arm sliding around her daughter, looking to Shawn with so much worry and confusion in her eyes but he looked just as lost as she was. 
> 
> ……
> 
> Lucas walked home slowly, his head filled with worry and concern and his lip swelling as the blood dried leaving him with a glaring mark on his face from the incident at Maya’s apartment. He kept his head down as he walked in, trying to just get to his room and hide from the world for a while. However the world had other plans. “Luke is that you?” The voice of his mother called from the living room. 
> 
> He took a deep breath. “Yes, Ma’am.” He called back, still heading down the hall towards his room, he tried to avoid anything else further by adding on: “I’m real tired, momma. I’m gonna head to bed.”
> 
> What he didn’t expect was that she was coming down the hall to see him. He sounded like something was wrong and to already be tired at seven PM seemed odd. She wanted to check that he wasn’t sick, but catching sight of him she sighed in a distressed way. “Lucas!” She shook her head and went right to him, taking his chin and lifting his hanging had to see the busted lip. “I really thought you’d gotten this out of your system by now. You’re too old for this.” She shook her head some.
> 
> His father was the next one down the hall, hearing his wife’s tone from the living room. “You been fighting again?” He asked in a gruff tone.
> 
> “No, sir.” Lucas replied, turning to his father. 
> 
> “Don’t lie to me, boy.” Mr. Friar replied quickly.
> 
> “I’m not.” Lucas defended, looking his father in the eye. “I got hit, I didn’t hit back, look.” He held up his hands, not even a bruise on his knuckles. His parents looked to be sure and then back to his face. They directed him to the kitchen where his mother was putting some ice in a cloth for his lip. “I didn’t do anything,” Lucas sighed. “Can I please just go to bed?”
> 
> “Not till you tell me what happened.” His father replied taking a beer from the fridge and sitting at the table. Lucas sighed, sitting down across from his father but not saying a word. 
> 
> “Who hit you?” His mother asked, moving behind her son and patting his shoulder before handing him the cloth.
> 
> Lucas sighed, staring at a nick in the wooden table. What was he supposed to say? He didn’t like lying, and he never could get away with lying to his parents anyway, they always seemed to know, so he chose not to say a word. “I got all night, Luke.” His father spoke up, cracking open the can of beer and taking a gulp. And Lucas knew he really would keep him sitting there all night until he told them something.
> 
> “I didn’t do anything wrong, why does it matter who hit me?” He asked, trying to find any way out. But his father didn’t even justify it with a reply, he just stared his son down and took a gulp of the beer. Lucas sat in silence for nearly five minutes holding the cloth to his face. The ice was almost completely melted and Lucas finally spoke. “Shawn Hunter. Okay? Shawn Hunter hit me. Now can I go?” He asked, ready to push back from the table and take off to the sanctuary of his room.
> 
> His parents knew very well who Shawn Hunter was, they’d been at the small wedding after all. So the next question came out of suspicion and fear from the least likely person to accuse him, his mother. “What did you do?” Lucas couldn’t meet her eyes. “Lucas Joseph Friar, what did you do?” She asked again, her voice seeming to raise an octave. He nearly flinched at the sound of his full name. He didn’t want to answer, to tell his mother he’d not only had sex, but gotten someone pregnant out of wedlock. “Lucas if you think I won’t call Katy right now you’ve got another thing-” She threatened, nearly yelling now. She was terrified of what had happened to give Maya’s stepfather any reason to strike her son and only one reason came to mind.
> 
> “Maya’s pregnant!” He snapped back with a slightly raised voice, cutting her off before she could keep up with her threats. Everything went quiet then, both parents staring at their son but he hung his head low again.
> 
> “Get out.” His mother said finally, her voice shaking slightly. Lucas looked up, eyes wide not sure what she was telling him…to get out of the room or the entire house. “Go to your room.” She told him again and when he didn’t move right away she snapped. “Get out of my sight, Lucas. Now.” Her voice broke some then on the verge of tears. Lucas stood, slowly walking out of the room and not looking back. He closed himself off in his room, falling on the bed and staring at the ceiling. He was sure this was the worst day of his entire life. 
> 
> In the kitchen, his mother was on a step-stool, pulling down the hidden bottle of whiskey from behind her cook books. She poured herself a splash and tossed it back, then pours more to sip as she sat down across from her husband. “I knew it.” She started. “As soon as he said Shawn I knew he was having sex with her. My God, I never thought I’d be wishing he _only_ got caught having sex.” Mrs. Friar muttered, feeling like knowing he was having sex and had been caught was a far better alternative to what was actually happening. She swiped the back of her hand across her cheek to wipe away a tear. “Pregnant.” Disappointed beyond words, she shook her head. “You talked to that boy, he knows how babies are made, he knows the proper way to respect a woman, he knows what Jesus and his parents expect from him and he has the audacity to come in here and tell us he got that girl pregnant!” She was more talking to herself, but her husband listened, nodding along. “He’s going to have to take responsibility for this, they need to get married.” 
> 
> “If she keeps it.” Mrs. Friar’s head whipped towards her husband. Abortion was not a topic in this house, it was wrong, it was not in God’s plan and it was taking an innocent life. They weren’t ones to protest it, but they were God-fearing Texans and it just wasn’t something that was done. “I’m not saying she’d do it, but we don’t know. It’s not as if you ever sat down with her momma and asked her views on abortion.” The word alone made her cringe. “Call Katy tomorrow, invite them to dinner so we can talk about this.” 


	3. The Decisions

> Maya tried to stay as detached as she possibly could in the beginning of the pregnancy, she hadn’t decided what she was going to do yet and it was hard enough to decide without thinking of this _thing_ as her baby. Maya tried hard but when she was laying on the table in a paper gown, listening to a rapid heartbeat playing from her gut she felt the pull of emotion hitting her. Katy was at her side, her eyes welling as she listened. Katy was torn between feeling like it was far too soon to be a grandmother and feeling like it was the most beautiful sound – remembering when she heard the same sound seventeen years before when she was pregnant.
> 
> Maya was terrified, she couldn’t imagine being someone’s mother, but at the same time she was finding it even more difficult not to think of this _thing_ as anything less than a person. A parasitic person who was making her sick and sucking her energy down from the inside, but a person none the less. Everything seemed to feel different after that moment, feel even more real than it already did. Maya didn’t say much of anything as the doctor spoke, her mother did most of the talking and she was given a bag of samples and vitamins to take as she left. On the subway ride back home Maya just stared at the bag in her lap, completely lost. It was less than a week later when Maya told her mother she was going to keep the baby but that wouldn’t be the end of her decision making.
> 
> The Friar’s pushed Lucas to propose, to be a good man and take care of the situation. A baby needs a family, people should be married. It was an old-fashioned logic, but it was one they believed in deeply. “I’ll help you buy the ring, but you need to do what’s right.” Mr. Friar told his son.
> 
> “It’s not about doing what’s right.” Lucas replied. “Of course I love Maya.”
> 
> “I’d hope so, considering.” His mother mumbled in reply to the conversation during dinner with the two important men in her life.
> 
> Lucas just sighed. “I don’t know what to do, okay?” He told them both as he dropped his fork on a plate full of food, feeling defeated. “This isn’t how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to graduate together, go to college where she can get her art degree while I play ball, _THEN_ get married.” He pushed a hand into his hair. “Now we’re supposed to get married when we have a year of school left, and what? Live here? Live at her place where her stepdad wants to kill me in my sleep? Drop out and work two jobs so we have our own place?” They stared at him as he seemed to rant. “No, I’m serious, I want to know, what am I supposed to do?” And it showed then he wasn’t ranting, he was pleading.
> 
> As much as they both wanted to tell him that he should have thought about all of that before they got into this mess, they knew it wouldn’t help things now. Lucas already knew the trouble he was in, he didn’t need to be reminded every day. The Friar’s looked at one another for a moment and seemed to have a silent conversation that ended with a nod before either answered him. “Neither of you is going to drop out. If you two get married you can live here and we will help as much as you need.” His mother offered, trying her best to help her son do the right thing.
> 
> …..
> 
> Maya’s brow furrowed as Lucas knelt down in front of her, a very small diamond ring held out. As she took it all in it rubbed her the wrong way. “No.” She told him with a slight shake to her head and started to walk away from him. 
> 
> “Wait, where are you going?” he called, getting to his feet and going after her. He shoved the ring box in his pocket as he moved around to stand in front of her. “What’s the matter? I thought you’d be happy.” His eyes searched hers for any indication of what he’d done wrong. 
> 
> “Happy?” She snapped back at him. “Why because you’re doing the ‘right thing’?” She continued, clearly mocking his mother who had said the words more times than he could count in the last month. Lucas didn’t reply, he truly didn’t understand. “I don’t want you to ask me because it’s the right thing!” She snapped at him. “Being pregnant isn’t a reason to get married, it’s not a _reason_ to do anything! You know you wouldn’t be asking me right now if I wasn’t pregnant.”
> 
> “Well…no, not right now, but one day. I’d ask you one day, Maya, so why not now?”
> 
> “ _Why not now?_ Oh that’s romantic.” She scoffed at him. “I am not going to go get married because your parents wants us to. You don’t need to be married to be a good parent, look at my mom.” He sighed, he had a feeling she was going to go there with him. “I don’t need to be some lame country song come to life to be a good mother and I’ll be dammed if your parents are going to try and decide my future for me.”
> 
> “I love you Maya, I want to marry you. Do you love me?” he asked her, trying to get off the topic of both of their mothers as soon as possible.
> 
> “Of course I fucking love you, you jerk!” She snapped, shoving him for even asking her like that. She could feel her eyes well and got even more upset. She hated that she was crying so much lately, everything seemed to be some kind of an emotional knife to the chest. “But unless you can ask me because of that and not because of this.” Her hand pointed to her stomach - barely even a bump at this point. “Then the answer will always be no.” 
> 
> Angry tears were still on her face when she got home, Katy and Shawn both looked at her curiously from the couch. Maya had been emotional lately, her hormones were already raging just from being a teenager, but now they were tenfold, but seeing Maya slam the door as well felt different. “Maya?” Katy called but Maya ignored the knocking at the door behind her and her mother as she stomped to her room and slammed another door. Shawn sighed as he watched Maya storm away and Katy got up to open the door. Katy wasn’t surprised to see a hassled and stressed looking Lucas. “Have a little fight, did you?”
> 
> “Um, kind of.” He muttered with a frown noticing Maya was nowhere in sight and he was still waiting on the other side of the door. A few months ago, he would have been welcomed in, but those days seemed gone. “She’s mad because I asked her to marry me.” He admitted. 
> 
> “You did what now?” Shawn asked coming up behind his wife to stare down the boy he blamed for everything Maya was going through. Katy put a hand on Shawn’s chest to remind him to remain calm, that they were stuck with Lucas for life now. 
> 
> Lucas sighed this day was really not going where he’d hoped when he got up that morning. “Can I just talk to Maya, please?” He asked, his eyes avoiding Shawn as much as he could, feeling like Katy was the more reasonable one. But it was Shawn who took the lead now. 
> 
> “Maya!” Shawn yelled down the hall. “Do you want to talk to Lucas?” Maya yelled back a ‘no’ in return and Shawn turned back towards Lucas. “You heard her.” Shawn replied, an almost gloating grin on his face as he closed the door before Lucas could utter another word. 
> 
> Lucas sighed again, rolling his eyes at the closed door and just making his way to her fire escape like he’d done many times before. When he knocked at the window, Maya gave him an odd smile, standing and walking towards the window. But just as he thought she’d open it she hung the blanket over it so she didn’t have to see his face. “Maya, c’mon.” He called, tapping at the glass again.
> 
> With a huff, she obliged, opening the window and looking at him. “What?”
> 
> “I love you.” He told her, looking directly into her eyes. “Baby or no baby I love you.” And it seemed to soften her, seemed to deflate her aggressive feelings and left her looking at him a little softer.
> 
> “I know.” She muttered, moving to let him in. “I love you too.” Their arms wrapped around one another then, her chin lifting to look up at him. The kiss was soft, gentle and reminded her of the first time he kissed her. He was being careful with her and she knew why, she’d exploded at him for no real reason – at least not one that justified her fit. 
> 
> They almost sat on the bed, but Maya knew if her parents came in they’d be in a mess of trouble so the two ended up on the floor with their backs against the side of the bed. “You know what the first thing I said when my parents brought up us getting married?” he asked her. Maya turned to face him as he continued. “I said it wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. See I thought we’d finish school, go to college together and _then_ we’d get married.”
> 
> Maya smiled softly. “Oh would we?” She asked him with a hint of a chuckle. 
> 
> He nodded, grinning. “Yup, and because I’d be playing pro ball we’d be set for life and you would get to paint all day instead of work.” His pipe-dreams filled her mind, wishing it was the real situation for them rather than the one they were in. “Maya, I didn’t plan on asking you to marry me now, but I did plan to ask one day.” He tucked her hair back, his hand staying against her cheek as he smiled. “Remember when I told you I’d be your family?” She barely nodded, not wanting him to move his hand. “Be my family.”
> 
> Still sitting on the floor, Maya and Lucas were kissing heavily when Katy opened the door to tell Maya dinner was ready. “Oh for God’s sake, Maya!” Katy exclaimed, the two separated, Lucas going a little red as he stood and held out his hand to Maya. Katy’s eyes couldn’t help but focus on the shine on her daughter’s hand. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” She muttered to herself knowing before they could even tell her that somehow he’d talked her daughter out of her bad mood and into an engagement. 
> 
> ….
> 
> “Wait a minute!” Maya exclaimed, her brow furrowed and eyes angry. “You were the one pushing for us to be married and now you think we need to hide at the courthouse?!” She had never raised her voice to the Friar’s before, but her feelings all felt so much stronger than they ever had before and it felt like everything that happened just pushed her buttons a little more than the thing before. 
> 
> “Maya, sweetie, do you really think it’s appropriate to have a big event and, well, show off your…um, situation?” The old fashioned mentality seemed to go even further than just being married because you were pregnant, you also shouldn’t be proud of it either. Maya just glared at her future mother in law.
> 
> “Let me get this straight. You want me to be ashamed of myself? Of my situation? Of the family that YOU want me to have?!” She was shouting now and stood up at the dining room table. Katy sighed, they’d been invited to dinner once more this time to discuss the upcoming nuptials but at this rate, there may not be any to plan. She pulled off the ring and threw it down on the table. “This is bullshit!” Maya stormed out of the Friar’s home for the first time in her life with her parents following behind. 
> 
> Lucas caught the ring as it slid across the table and stood, rushing out of the room. “Maya! Wait!” He was out the door and on the sidewalk before he caught her. “Maya…stop, listen, forget them.” Shawn’s glare returned immediately as soon as Lucas approached but he ignored him. “Maya, I love you and I want to marry you…any way you want.”
> 
> Maya stood, staring at him with her arms crossed. “ _Any_ way I want?” 
> 
> Lucas took Maya’s hand and stepped in close. “They don’t know what they’re talking about, please.” She stared up at him, lips still tight in anger. He watched her as he pulled the ring back out of his pocket and her face softened some as he slid it back on her hand. Maya smiled a little as her anger began to melt away and she leaned into Lucas.
> 
> “We need to talk.” Katy said in a whisper to Shawn as she watched the kids share a kiss. She knew what this was coming to before it even happened.


	4. The Ridicule

> It had started slowly when Maya began to show. She could feel eyes on her as she walked down the hall, but when she turned to see them, they always looked away – just as often times conversations would come to a halt when she entered a room. High school didn’t offer the same safety-net as middle school once did. She no longer had every class with Lucas, Riley and Farkle. Riley was in several advanced classes, her extra circulars were very different from her friends so Maya found herself facing a lot of the speculation on her own.
> 
> The first text came from a number she didn’t know.
> 
>  
> 
> The text made her angry rather than sad. She was pregnant, she did show it a little, despite the loose fitting clothes she tried to wear to keep people’s eyes off her. But she was also married now and it didn’t feel like such an awful fate at this point. More than anything she was angry that someone was hiding behind a private number rather than face her.
> 
> In fairness, she was angry with the people who said things to her face as well. In the halls between classes she had her friends with her, usually Lucas, if not both Lucas and Riley. Lucas was quick to shut down even a snicker in his new wife’s direction to the point that if he was around few people bothered, though they could always count on certain ‘mean girls’ to speak their mind. Laura Bracken was especially fond of saying anything she felt like to anyone at all no matter how inappropriate or cruel. As Laura walked past the three of them in the hall, her boyfriend’s arm on her shoulders much like Lucas’s arm was around Maya’s. Laura slowed down where the group was lingering near Maya's locker, talking to her boyfriend but blatantly pointing at Maya. “ _That_ is why I make you wear condoms, you want me to get fat like that?” The couple laughed as they kept walking. Lucas glared after them and Riley opened her mouth to shout something back, but Maya stopped her.
> 
> “Don’t bother Ri.” Maya shrugged it off just like she’d shrugged off the word ‘slut’ in a cough from someone else the day before. Maya wasn’t so much surprised that more texts began to come, the logical idea of trying to find a way to block private numbers hadn’t even begun to occur to her.
> 
>  
> 
> Maya hadn’t told anyone about the texts. She convinced herself that she didn’t care about them, that if it really bothered her she would of course say something, but this was just some petty girl and there was no point in getting anyone else involved. She wouldn’t admit it to anyone how they started to weigh on her over time.
> 
> It wasn’t until that evening after school that Lucas saw Maya trying on everything in her closet, clothes strewn all over the room. When her favorite coat wouldn’t button in the front she pulled it off with a scream of frustration. He was at her side instantly, arms around her pulling her into a hug. “I’m fucking huge and my clothes don’t fit.” Maya muttered, sinuses burning as the tears welled, she wasn’t actually off by much in her weight gain, but she was so small already that any weight showed. It had been easier for Maya to deal with being called fat rather than face that she may have actually ruined Lucas’s life – something that she’d thought herself for almost five months now.
> 
> “You are not huge, you are beautiful.” Lucas said as he held her close to him.
> 
> “I’m fat, I’m fat and gross.” Shawn lingered on the other side of the door, listening to the girl he considered his daughter as she cried out. He’d heard her scream and come to help, but Lucas had been there already. He listened as Lucas continued to tell Maya she was beautiful, that he loved her and she was making a life, doing more than any of the girls at school could even comprehend. Shawn would never admit out loud that Lucas had done anything right, but he didn’t feel the need to go in and assist further once he heard his son-in-law speaking softly.
> 
> The texts and comments at school didn’t come every day, it was like the universe was messing with her head. She would start to think it was over, get a sense of security, and then it would come again and again. When it happened to her face there was generally someone there to tell off the attacker, but even then sometimes it wasn’t enough.
> 
> It was almost two weeks later before the next comment came from Megan, one of Laura’s friends. She leaned in close to Maya’s ear in the cafeteria. “We’ve got a bet going on how long before he dumps you…but I don’t think he will.” She smirked, as Maya shot her an untrusting glare. “Instead I’m betting he’s just going to cheat on you. And I’m going to make sure he knows what he’s missing.” She tossed her hair and Maya huffed, pushing back her chair fast from the table and was on her feet. She was shorter than Megan and was obviously pregnant, but in that moment she wanted nothing more than to punch the dark haired girl in the face.
> 
> Neither of them had seen Lucas walk up behind them until his arm went around Maya. “Back off, Megan.” He told her, his blue eyes cold as ice. “And for the record, even if I wasn’t with Maya…I would never touch you.” 
> 
> Maya glared harder in anger as Megan just chuckled. “Awww, why so mad, Lucas” She taunted with a fake pout. “Maybe because I’m a little bit right?” Lucas held onto Maya as she made to move forward, her fists clenched hard.
> 
> Despite how hard things had been, the random texts and the comments from the girls at school, Maya had held her head high and refused to let them know that it hurt her. Only Lucas ever really knew that something was upsetting - her guard coming down at home. But at almost six months in, Maya was pushed so far that that she became another statistic and droped out of school.
> 
> Maya and Lucas walked hand in hand down the hall, she was actually having a good day, she’d passed a test and Riley got to feel the baby kick. She was smiling as she told Lucas about how Riley had cried when she felt it and asked Maya a million questions about how it felt for her. 
> 
> Neither of them noticed how Laura and Megan came up behind them with another friend. Laura nudged Megan and nodded towards the couple in front of them. When she spoke she was loud enough to be sure they heard her. “They say that girls whose daddy’s never loved them end up filthy sluts, now we know for sure. Wonder if she’ll be too fat to start stripping after she pops it out.” 
> 
> Maya’s breath caught in her throat and her hand clenched Lucas’s hand so tightly her knuckles went white. She froze in the hall and Laura and her friends laughed. Lucas turned, more anger in his eyes than he’d had in a long time. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He nearly shouted at the group of them glaring hard before he turned back to Maya. “C’mon, let’s go.” He wanted to walk her to class, wanted her to ignore it, but he could see with one look at her she wasn’t going to be able to let this one go. Instead of walking her to class he ended up walking her home and lying in bed with her as she spent the rest of the afternoon crying.
> 
> Laura had a way of finding the biggest insecurities Maya had and exploiting them at the worst possible times. Maya hadn’t felt so broken in a long time, and bringing up her father had been the lowest blow of all. She showed Lucas the texts that night, letting him see everything that had been happening to her throughout the months at school. Being pregnant was hard enough on her, being bullied was making it all feel even worse. And never in his life had Lucas ever felt hate to the extreme he felt it for those girls.


	5. The Home

> Despite being married, living in the apartment with Maya’s parents was no easy feat for Lucas. Not only had he never lived away from his own parents before, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that Katy and Shawn did not want him there. Anytime Lucas and Shawn were alone together Lucas felt the need to leave the room. He needed Maya as a buffer between them, never knowing when the protective step father would snap and punch him again.
> 
> “I just wish you would at least consider things from my side.” Lucas told Maya as they laid in bed together. He was going to school and working, trying to save to get them their own place after graduation and before they fell asleep was his only alone time with her anymore. 
> 
> “Consider it from **my** side.” She snapped back with a huff. “I am uncomfortable all the time, everything hurts and I’m as big as a fucking house. I feel gross and alone all day while you’re at school and work and having a life. And now you want me to move too?!” 
> 
> Lucas sat up and looked over at her. “ _Uncomfortable_? I’m uncomfortable. They don’t want me here, they just want you to stay so they tolerate me. Shawn gives me the death stare every time I come in the room. And you know damn well my mama never meant to offend you, she’s apologized a hundred times, hell she gave you the wedding you wanted anyway, why are you still holding onto this?”
> 
> “Your parents hate me!” She shot back, sitting up as well. The full size bed was big enough for them both. The room was crammed full however, with the crib and other baby items they’d received at the shower they had little space left in Maya’s bedroom.
> 
> “They do not! Maya they love you, they’ve always loved you. They just freaked out, you can’t blame them for that, they were brought up in a different time.” He sighed, things seeming to calm down some. “Maya, mama would be home with you all day, you wouldn’t be alone. And there’s so much more room, he could have his own room there.” Maya frowned as he spoke, looking away from him. Her hand went to her stomach as soon as he uttered the word ‘he’ they’d only recently found out it was going to be a boy and that too terrified Maya.
> 
> “Yeah.” She muttered, she never had as much as others, but it felt different now. She looked around the room. Was she doing something wrong wanting to stay at home? Was she keeping her baby from having more than she had?
> 
> “Maya,” he began, her eyes meeting his once more. “I would do anything for you, you know that. I’m not asking you to move right now. Just a weekend, one long weekend over there and see how it goes. Is it really so much to ask?”
> 
> With a sigh she looked to him with a hint of sadness in her voice. “No, it’s not.” She knew he was right, he’d moved in without question to be with her. Maya couldn’t deny the tension between him and her parents, especially Shawn, even she had to admit she was waiting for the next fight between them. “Of course we can spend the weekend over there.” She had to give in to such a small request, she knew it would be incredibly unfair to do otherwise. 
> 
> Lucas’s mother was smiling wide when they came in and after a quick hug to her son she went to embrace Maya. “How are you feeling sweetheart?” She asked, her hand instantly going to Maya’s swelled stomach. Maya hadn’t been around the Friar’s much since the wedding and not at all since she quit school and got her GED instead. Maya felt hot all of a sudden, not sure how she was supposed to react to the woman touching her so tenderly. 
> 
> “I-um I’m okay.” Lucas smiled as Maya answered, his hand reaching for hers and giving her a squeeze. He wanted so much for this to work out, for Maya to change her mind and see how much better living here would be for them all. His mother had turned the guest room into a nursery and redid Lucas’s room to be sure they could both be comfortable in there. She wanted Maya to know that there was always room for everyone – be it for a weekend or forever, she would always have room for them. 
> 
> Maya had seen the nursery once and when her hormones began to rage, she’d taken it all out on the grandmother-to-be. She’d ranted about how everything had been done, how it was HER baby and she wasn’t even being given a say. About how it wouldn’t ever convince her to move there. She hadn’t meant to shout about it, but she’d been overwhelmed and pregnancy was wearing her down emotionally.
> 
> This time, going on a lot more sleep, Maya was more open to _really_ look at the room. Lucas found her in the nursery when dinner was ready; she was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room. He moved to sit with her and she instinctively leaned on him. “She thought of everything.” She muttered, having looked all around the room. “I still think she did too much, but…I admit it’s nice.” Lucas chuckled, he hoped she’d tell his mother that, but he wasn’t going to ask her, he knew better than that. After a long moment Maya spoke softly. “Lucas?” Their eyes met then hers with a slightly helpless expression – a look very few people in the world ever got to see on Maya’s face. “I can’t get up and I really need to pee.” His laugh was boisterous as he stood and helped her to her feet. 
> 
> “The weekend went great, why can’t we just talk about this?” Lucas was exasperated. She was refusing to even discuss their living situation. 
> 
> “There is nothing to talk about!” Maya shouted back as she opened the front door and stepped inside. Katy and Shawn looked up from the couch, watching the scene before them. 
> 
> “There is a lot to talk about, Maya! You’re being ridiculous.” It was rare for Lucas to fight back, but he’d had enough and was exhausted. “You don’t get to just decide everything, Maya.” They ignored her parents and both stormed into their bedroom. 
> 
> “Just drop it Lucas!”
> 
> “No. I’m tired of this, we’re married now Maya, we decide things together and as much as you like to yell at me all the time, it’s getting less and less attractive the longer I have to live here.”
> 
> “HAVE to live here? You don’t HAVE to do anything. You don’t want to be here then leave!” 
> 
> “You want me to leave?! Why in the hell did you even marry me?!” Lucas never thought he’d be yelling at Maya the way she yelled at him but he had reached his limit. 
> 
> Katy put a hand on Shawn’s arm as he started to get up at the sound of the yelling. “No. You said it, they’re not kids anymore. You have to let her handle this.” She told her husband, not much liking the situation either but knowing this was a marriage now and they had to let Maya learn what that meant for herself.
> 
> “I don’t know anymore!” She snapped back, knowing as soon as she said it that it was a lie just to hurt him.
> 
> “I have done everything you wanted, **EVERYTHING**! Since the moment I met you, Maya!” Lucas shouted with pain in his eyes. “You’re so fucking selfish you don’t even care that I’m here fighting for us. Don’t you get it, I want us to make it! I want to be with you! But you can’t even have a conversation.” His tone calmed some but the anger and pain was showing in his face. “You ever tell me to leave again and I’m gone.” 
> 
> The threat is what got to Maya most of all. She didn’t like ultimatums, she didn’t like authority and she didn’t like the feeling of him deciding anything for her. She was having trouble seeing anything from his side then, she was just overpowered with her own anger and annoyances and she pushed him – as she’s always pushed him. And so she looked him in the eyes, glaring at him. “I don’t take nicely to threats.” 
> 
> “It’s not a threat Maya. I can’t do this with you anymore. I can’t fight with you and your family and be so miserable all the time I don’t even want to come home. I can’t. I love you but I can’t do this.”
> 
> She could feel the tears threatening to fall, her sinus’s burning and her face was red. Her lip quivered as she let anger overpower the fear. “Leave.” Her voice didn’t break, it was harsh and mean and it broke his heart. Lucas gave her one long look before he grabbed his jacket and keys and was walking out. Maya’s eyes went wide, shocked that he would have actually left. 
> 
> “Lucas!” Shawn’s voice yelled after him as he moved past Katy and he on his way out the front door, but Lucas didn’t stop for him this time, he was tired of being pushed around and feeling so helpless here.
> 
> When he didn’t stop for Shawn, Maya knew he wasn’t going to stop. She took off after him. “Lucas!” She screamed as she ran after him down the steps. Lucas stopped and turned to face her as she moved faster than he thought she would to come after him. He was more worried she was going to fall and get hurt trying to run with how pregnant she was. 
> 
> “What?” He asked her flatly.
> 
> She stopped, catching her breath and looking up at him with tears falling down her face. “I’m sorry.” She breathed out. Never wanting to back down, but knowing this time she was wrong, she pushed him too far. “I didn’t mean it.” 
> 
> They sat on the steps between the second and third floor. He was having trouble looking at her just then, his eyes on his lap. “Maya…I love you, I don’t ever want to leave you, but I can’t stay when you keep pushing me out the door.”
> 
> “I know.” She muttered softly, he finally looked at her then and took a long moment before he spoke again.
> 
> “Do you want to be married to me?” He asked her, he needed to know, to really know. But before she could answer he continued. “Really married, Maya. Fifty-fifty, we make decisions together, we think about each other, we do what’s right for **our** family. I love you, you know I do, but this is not what I had in mind when I thought about us being married.” He paused, looking at her for a moment. “Did you?”
> 
> Maya was quiet, lip sucked between her teeth and she looked down at her knees. “I…I don’t know what I thought it would be.” She admitted. “I’m…scared.” It was a hard thing for Maya to admit and Lucas looked at her more seriously now. “I’m scared Lucas, I have only ever been with my mom…and now I’m supposed to be someone else’s mom? I don’t even know how to be away from my own. I don’t know how to do any of this, but thinking about doing it without my mom terrifies me even more.” She sighed. “I know it’s not fair to you, I know you and Shawn hate each other, and I know you’re right, you’ve done everything for me. You have every right to be pissed about all this. I just…I don’t think I can do this.” Tears fell down her cheeks without her even realizing she was crying and his arm went around her and pulled her close. 
> 
> “Why didn’t you tell me you were scared?” But he knew without her ever answering that she hated admitting weaknesses, especially something this big. “I’m not trying to take you away from your mom, Maya. I’m not… I just want us to be a family of our own too. Listen…it’s okay…I’ll stay, we’ll stay here.” He didn’t want to bring up that he’d left his parents for the first time to be with her, that he was scared too. He wouldn’t bring up how he felt about the differences between their parents, thinking his would welcome her and hers made him feel like a criminal. It wasn’t going to help anything for him to put his own concerns on her right then, not when she’d finally admitted her fears.


End file.
